Well, hello again.
It's been a long time since I've spent time in this space.
I didn't even check to see how long, but it's been more than a year.
I needed a break.
At first, I just ran out of time. I was working 2 full-time jobs, and making money was more important than my own meanderings.
At least, that's what I told myself.
In actuality, I was tired of myself. I was tired of having an excuse to talk about my feelings because I was feeling the same the all the time. It wasn't helping to talk about it or share about it because I just wanted to be out of it. Trying to start a family wasn't fun or interesting anymore. It was heartache after heartache. It became an actual traumatic experience, and I was barely holding it together. We took some time off, and I took some time off from thinking about myself. I was thankful for work that kept me incredibly busy.
In the past eighteen months we...
...sold our house.
...moved in with my parents.
...said goodbye to the puppy that my husband and I picked out three months after we met.
...closed one office and opened a new one.
...welcomed a new nephew. (More on this later.)
...accepted infertility as the reality.
...started fertility treatments.
...started the two year process to repair my husband's jaw. (More on this later, also).
...walked away from one house that we were building.
...built a second house that we love.
...kind of/sort of moved in to the new house with a bed and a couch.
Oh, and finally got pregnant after four years, fertility treatments, more tears than I care to rethink, and a lot of personal growth that I don't think I asked for.
Our lives look a lot different now then the did even a few months ago. I don't think I've stopped spinning yet.
I promise there is much more to come.
It's still hip to be square, kids.