What Do I Want? Good Question.

So what do I want from life?

I have no fucking idea. 

Some days I get home and collapse onto the couch after work. In those moments, I'm so glad to be only responsible for myself. I mean, hubs likes to be fed, but he's capable of feeding himself when necessary. I can soak in a bathtub or watch an evening full of Big Bang Theory without guilt about ignoring anyone who demands attention. I may feel a little guilty that the house isn't clean enough or the laundry needs to be done, but no one is suffering for my laziness.

In those moments, I truly do not know what I want. I question whether I want to give up the quiet house and the free time (more like extra hours at work) and the limited obligations. I wonder whether spending time with other people's kids is enough. Do we really need our own? Can we just be the cool Aunt and Uncle who can afford to buy nice things for our siblings' kids because we don't have any of our own? Can I be fulfilled enough with what we have and not desperately need more? 

I already know the answers to all of these questions. I don't think they really change anything, but they're there, and, for that reason, they probably deserve some attention. 

It's hip to be square, kids.